Chance

I had an interview earlier and one of the questions that I was asked was, “If you would be given a chance to talk to someone, dead or living, who would it be?”

I gave it a couple of seconds of thought. There are lots of people I would be thrilled to talk to - Robert Downy Jr. for one. He is my ultimate crush and I was devastated when IronMan died in the latest Marvel movie. But, if I could talk to just one person, I would not waste that chance talking to a celebrity (even if that is Robert Downy Jr.!). I would take that chance to talk to my Grandmother one last time.

I was raised by my grandmother and she was always there for me. She taught me a lot of things. She was the typical grandmother - spoiling me with food, clothes, toys - but strict on the things that are important to her. Like education, values, manners, and faith.

I remember not being allowed to watch television until I’m done with my homework and studying. I remember being waited for in front of our gate with her arms crossed because I was one hour late in getting home. I remember her going to my first ever children’s camp to check on me. I remember arguing with her over what course I was going to take in college. I remember when all my friends would be allowed to stay overnight in college and I was the only one who wasn’t.

All these memories puts a smile on my face, although back then I recall how I was miffed about how strict she was. I remember all these memories with great fondness. I realizeD it was what shaped me into the person I am now. And I am forever grateful to her for it.

Along with my memories of how strict she was are memories of how loving, generous and caring she was. I remember all the food she has ever prepared and how they always taste like coming home. I remember Christmas Eve and Christmas Days when she will prepare all our favorite food. I remember her hospitality, her generosity, her unconditional love, her unfailing kindness.

So yes, given the chance, I will choose to talk to her one last time. To say sorry for all the times I have disappointed her. For all the times I’ve caused her heartache. For the times I failed to make her proud. For all the times I did not show her how much I love her. And most of all, for not being with her on her last day here with us.

I would say thank you - for all the food she did not eat so she can give it to me. For all the hours she spent making me clothes, making me costumes, even making my dolls’s clothes. For all the times she spent with me on projects, lessons, and homework. For all the times she dropped everything to be with me. For her love, for her kindness, her sacrifices, for everything she ever gave and shown me. For showing me what a mother should be.

I am grateful for her life, her love. And I will tell her all this.